Plan the rehearsal dinner

Set the tone for the weekend with a warm, memorable gathering

Your wedding rehearsal sets the logistics in motion, but the dinner that follows is all about celebration. It’s your chance to kick off the weekend with the people who matter most: close family, the wedding party and maybe a few out-of-town guests. Whether you host a formal dinner or a backyard barbecue, this event sets the tone for everything to come.

Your rehearsal dinner doesn’t need to be perfect, it just needs to feel like you. It’s the first impression of your wedding weekend. Make it count with good food, meaningful moments and a relaxed vibe.

Who hosts?

Traditionally, the groom’s family plans and pays for the rehearsal dinner, but modern etiquette is more flexible. Couples often split the cost or host it themselves. The key is clear communication. Make sure everyone involved understands expectations early on, especially if both families want to contribute.

Pick a place that fits your vibe

Start by deciding what kind of experience you want. Are you picturing a relaxed meal with comfort food and toasts or something more formal and sit-down?  A few popular formats include:

  • Restaurant dinner: Great for convenience and minimal planning. Many local restaurants offer private rooms or prix-fixe menus for wedding events.
  • Backyard bash: Casual and personal, especially if you’re aiming for a family-style or Southern feel. Add string lights, live music or a food truck for flair.
  • Lowcountry boil or oyster roast: A regional favorite that instantly brings guests together.
  • Beach picnic: A fun and low-key way to welcome landlocked guests.
  • Cocktail-style gathering: Skip the formal meal and offer passed apps, signature drinks and light fare for a social, flexible evening.

Pro tip: If you’re planning to host the dinner at a restaurant (the most stress-free option), lock in your reservation at least three months out, and even earlier if your wedding falls during the busy spring or fall seasons, when popular local venues book up fast.

Make a guest list

The rehearsal dinner usually includes:

  • The wedding party (and their partners)
  • Immediate family
  • Special friends 
  • The officiant 
  • Out-of-town guests (optional, but appreciated)

What to include

Toasts and speeches: This is a great time for heartfelt, spontaneous speeches from parents or members of the wedding party. Keep it light and informal. Save the big toasts for the reception.

Gifts: If you’re giving your wedding party thank-you gifts, the rehearsal dinner is the perfect moment to present them.

Welcome details: Many couples hand out welcome bags, weekend itineraries or small keepsakes at this event, especially if you have guests traveling in.

Dress code: Set expectations on your invitation or wedding website. It doesn’t have to be fancy, but it should feel intentional.

Keep the timing tight: Schedule your rehearsal in the late afternoon (about an hour before dinner), and keep it efficient. Everyone will be ready to relax, eat and mingle. Make sure transportation is arranged if the locations are separate, and consider setting an end time to ensure everyone gets rest before the big day.

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